I am the one who always returns

I am the one who always returns

when the apartment is empty,

but thoughts fill the places of the guests.

They, in their insanity, take seats around my bed.

Mourning and urging a past left in the dust.

But those voices tempt godliness

through manifestation from this dust

the making of Adam-- yet only a demon

of illusion, of great deception. 

To be underwhelmed and overwhelmed is 

to turn an hourglass on its side

Like time has stopped, but who does not live

at some angle or another? 

Yet here I am, seemingly upright, no slant, 

no give. The sand of my schema does not move

as I stand paralyzed like a victim of the Gorgon,

heart beating, stuck in my own gray, unmoving, 

world. 

Save me, Perseus! Come back!

There are no monsters in the West, 

except the ministers of Fear.

They keep the rest at bay, more frozen

than I, while sheltered in place-- safe at home. 

Bring life and time back to this frozen soul.

Bring with them color and motion.

Restore the eternal offering with great fire 

in the Sanctuary of this life,

for I am the one who always returns. 

My Midnight Kiss
(inspired by George and Ira Gershwin's "Embraceable You")

A
You are my devoted girl
You are my precious pearl
My midnight kiss
You are my inspiration
You are my specialization
My midnight kiss

B
Don’t think I’ll ever leave you
Without a hand to hold
I’ll always be here to relieve you
To warm you in the cold

A
You are my dearest friend
You are what heaven sends
My midnight kiss
You are why the moon shows
You are those pecks on the nose
My midnight kiss

C
You are the fulfillment of all my heart’s desires
To me you give your midnight kiss

A stormy air I feel inside 

Laced with passion I sense you nigh

It gives me hope your eyes and smile 

Zip up neck height and then I’ll fly 

And might I take you up that high?

Surely I am as Deceptive as Odysseus
as Whiny as Aeneas
as Stubborn as Achilles
as Prideful as Agamemnon

Surely I lack the Skill of Daedalus
the Upright Heart of Perseus
the Strength of Heracles
the Talent of Orpheus

Surely there will be upon me the task of Atlas
the luck of Patroclus
the punishment of Sisyphus
the imprisonment of Pirithous

I fancy the Face of tragic Adonis
the Radiance of bright Apollo
the Imperial Supremacy of Zeus of the skies
the Wisdom of the goddess Athena Parthenos

But perhaps I am simply a mortal,
Born to two parents,
with dark red blood running within
to one day return to dust

I’m not scared of what’s near 

Everyone has escaping tears 

Like wardens we try to master 

imprisoned emotions that matter  

Why hold everything in? 

Anger and sadness, sins? 

You won’t live until you break them out 

Bring the walls down, start with a shout! 

You’ll lead your life as Joshua to the Jews

Take what's yours and don’t take abuse 

You’ll have clarity beyond your wildest dreams 

and you’ll just laugh when life falls apart at the seams  

For I have figured that this universe is cruel 

Its indifference renders us all as fools 

So I march on not afraid to frown 

I take off the tie and let my hair down.

Three Little Words 

"Green pastures was just a technicolor movie" 

and I see them all groovy.

I smile up at the blue sky 

and my mind begins to fly

to a place where we meet 

and we embrace like trees

whose seeds are planted like two feet

tied together by ropes of reveries 

and then we just stare into each other's eyes.

There's nothing else in the world that could possibly matter.

Not a test, not a report, not a standard to meet. 

just the hourglass on its side 

The Three Note Tune

The sun is setting at the park 

The kids scramblin home before dark 

A shadow is seen from the rear 

Approaches a man shedding a tear 

He opens up his phone to see 

The messages that made him be

Depressed on a sunny June day 

His lover said she wouldn't stay. 

Murderous and sorrowful 

unexpressive, sad, and dull 

He waits, and waits, and waits all night 

While those he loves remain out of sight 

Not hearing one single sound 

The put-upon man takes to the ground 

and though he could look to sunrise 

Head in lap he sits and cries 

Now coming from a clump of tree 

emerges a hidden mystery 

Taking off its hood it did 

To reveal itself to be a kid 

The boy whistles a three note tune 

Seeing that twilight would be soon

he fades back to the bush there and then 

and disappears never seen again  

Too sad to be spooked the man there sat 

howled the three note tune like a wild cat 

glowing twilight was nearly neigh 

the haunting sight lit the blank sky 

So the man pulled out his dirty blade

by his own hands he had carefully made. 

and as he whistled those three notes once more through,

The dagger from his heart he slowly drew.

The sun is rising at the park 

children at home for it's too dark 

A shadow is seen from the rear 

A man shedding a tear we see disappear 

Irish Castaway 

Words are infinite, in all directions

And people will come and go 

For your words are my predilections,

On sacred soil the seeds I sow

Seeds of thoughts that grow into reality before my strained eyes. 

For someone not satisfied with triviality 

You must know I'm not one who lies 

It's a sin to kill a mockingbird as all they do is sing,

Surely so it is with the hummingbird that makes your senses ring 

Most o' life's not worth the time

And what doesn't help is rhyme,

But when the times that are worth it come,

And you wonder why they are low in sum,

Remember how I feel to hold you in my arms,

How I've suffered to stand where I do today.

But there isn't an iota to complain about in your arms. 

When you leave me speechless, no words to say.

Your nature is that of the owl at night.

You are there and you just observe.

I look up to you in wonder all night.

Why are your thoughts on such reserve?

Some day you'll see that it's meant to be,

And how mushy it is I would not say 

For Fate is something I do not see 

It's this universe and your distant Irish castaway 

Seeing you is like staring into a bright light

I can see no one else when you are there

It doesn't matter if people surround us,

As for them not as much do I care  

I've walked through the darkness hoping for you,

I've worried at night dreaming of this too. 

But my foolish, stupid worries do not amount to much,

When we embrace and feel each other's soft touch

Under sun and moon I see your beautiful shape 

Your little nose, the gold hair covering your nape.

I've seen it all but in truth I have not.

Your thoughts to understand I claim to have sought.  

You never know someone till you walk in their shoes,

I'll carry you across the river with a missing sandal,

To be at your beck and call I will pay the dues. 

Though I am no Argonaut, easier to melt than a wicker candle

Find me near your rivers, watching how they stream.

Peaceful undisturbed waters, look how the sunshine makes them beam.

I think you'll find we are the river, running smoother than we think, I promise we won't see the horrors of the beloved Dante's Dream.

Stick with me through this time of confidences,

I know it seems so tough

To look past youthful, old innocence,

But your person I am inextricably bound to, and will never rebuff. 

The clouds get dark before my eyes 

The rain pours down I’m living lies 

And you felt like surrounding light 

But you were just far stars, so bright 

I felt you in my arms so well 

I will always want to retell 

How you charmed me without trying 

it is not worthy of d’nying 

But cosmic clocks began to ring 

It’s known we have not had a fling 

Maybe, maybe, you’ll see me changed 

My love for you can't be estranged

Desert Love

Along the dunes I journeyed
The trillion grains of sand
My soul was sure but the beating sun
yielded no recess
Walking and walking to catch up to the
setting orange
Where is my love?
There I asked the valleys of sand
and they said nothing

I asked the gusts of wind where she was
and they said the same
Gale upon gale along an unsteady course

I am walking now through the sand
and the stars are slowly appearing from
the faded blue sky
The winds are high and violent
As if in a passionate dance through
The oncoming night

The coldness shocks my body
The sand makes me drag
The winds knock me over
And I cannot continue

I will return to you, O beautiful Shulamite,
I will return to you. And when it should
happen I will rise from the sand in triumph
as a new day for the desert.

Even now as a I lie dying in the night, the
stardust of twilight time gathers before my
eyes and I am new.

suddenly

Who is that there upon the starlit horizon?
Who is that beauty whose every step
hypes the beatings of my heart?
It is you
I spread my wings as a lark in the sky
and I am once again with you.
with you

Sonnet(?) It's been too long to remember if it was...

Ah! you and I should like two night owls 

That stock the skies in search of the bright star 

Below that star did our hearts first not foul 

And learned to get along-- 'tis not bizarre!

Let's stoke this fire which burns with heart and soul 

Although it's older than we both can know 

We must declare our former vows void-null

And bring back old passion when lights are low 

For I've looked far and wide but could not find 

A lark so sweet and neat; in flight you gleam

Your voice tickles my frontside and behind 

like trees singing as in a forest dream 

Let us lay down inside that grove of mirth

May it be that our love transcends rebirth 

As truly intimidated and embarrassed as I am to be in the process of creating a "blog," I know that this project is solely for fun. I have been writing low quality, awkward poetry for 4-5 years now and I would like to put it all down somewhere. This poetry often reflects the idealistic and unrealistic expectations of the narrator (me). The words come from a place of raw astonishment and struggle with the realities of our lives-- how love collapses, how friends leave, how disillusionment hits the psyche. This infinite universe with its cosmic twists and turns leaves me with arms raised and short breath. Perception is deceptive and things are rarely worth it on the surface. The challenge of all poets and dreamers is looking inward and finding how to express our wonder. The poems you will read here are not only underdeveloped sentiments of anguish at the stars but also those of a deep love for those stars. If any acquaintance, friend, or family member finds this poetry, please deal with me mercifully...


,זכרה-לי אלהי לטובה


DSS